


Comfort Levels

by concupiscence66



Series: Comfort Levels 'Verse [1]
Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: bbt_kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-14
Updated: 2011-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-15 16:09:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/concupiscence66/pseuds/concupiscence66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard and Raj aren't having much luck in love. Time for friends with benefits!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort Levels

**Author's Note:**

> [A Kink Meme prompt](http://bbt-kink.livejournal.com/407.html) (Leonard loves Sheldon, who loves his job. Raj loves Howard, who loves Bernadette. Take it from there :-D).

Raj was holding Howard's waist more tightly than necessary as they rode his scooter back from the restaurant. They were only going 15 mph, after all.  
   
Raj slid his hand down onto Howard's thigh and squeezed. Howard wasn't yelling yet so he moved his hand up and cupped the bulge between his best friend's legs. Howard was already half-hard.  
   
"Raj." It was a warning, not an invitation but he kept going, stroking him through his circus striped pants, pressing his own erection against the smaller man's backside.  
   
Howard pulled over and took off his helmet. His green eyes flashed with anger.  
   
"We've been over this, Raj! I am in a relationship now!"  
   
"You guys aren't even having sex!"  
   
"I really care about Bernadette. I don't want to mess this up."  
   
"I see. You care for Bernadette," he meant it to sound bitter but it came out as a whine.  
   
"Don't start... You're my best friend but I want a normal relationship that I can tell my mom about."  
   
"What's so abnormal about me?"  
   
"I didn't say you were abnormal... but you are! I'm saying our interracial interfaith homosexual liaison probably doesn't have much of a shelf life! You'll never tell your parents, I'll never tell my mom and I'm pretty sure you're never going to be the mother of my children! As soon as you find a nice girl that you can talk to, you're going to lose interest in me..."  
   
"No! I will always care about you!"  
   
Howard heaved a sigh and put his helmet back on. Raj kept his hands where they belonged. He couldn't blame Howard. He had a chance to be normal and they'd both had enough of being different. He would just have to wait for Howard to screw things up with Bernadette.  
   
   
   
Howard was on a date with Bernadette, and Sheldon was on a not-date with Amy, and Raj, the eternal Aquaman, was listening to Leonard tell the world's worst sex story.  
   
"So, she has made at least fifty jokes about ripping my nuts off at this point and they've... retreated in fear so when I pull up in front of her house and she invites me in I think 'No way. This is a physical impossibility' but then she starts kissing me and I start to think 'I haven't had sex in so long, I don't remember what good sex is like. This will be fine!' so I go upstairs..."  
   
Raj knew damn well it hadn't been that long since Leonard last had sex because it was with Raj's sister, but they'd agreed to pretend that never happened. Besides, Leonard's horrible sex story was making him feel better about his own forced abstinence.  
   
"She doesn't even offer me coffee, just straight to the bedroom and... we're kissing on her bed and she starts moving her hand towards my..." Leonard faltered for a word.  
   
"Junk?"  
   
"Sure. My junk and I just..." Leonard mimeed a defensive karate move over his crotch. Raj almost fell off the couch laughing.  
   
"And then she tells me not to be a 'pussy' and grabs me in this... vice-like grip and just starts pumping like... like she's trying to inflate a bike tire..."  
   
Raj was wiping tears from his eyes as Leonard demonstrated with violent hand gestures.  
   
"And she asks what's wrong with me and asks if I'm a 'fag' because..."  
   
"You had gone all Droopy Dog on her?"  
   
"Droopy Dog? That's a little esoteric but, sure, Droopy Dog. And she's still..." more violent hand gestures, "and it's just starting to hurt at that point but... How do you ask someone to stop?"  
   
"I have never been in that situation."  
   
"It's just so counter-intuitive to ask someone not to..."  
   
"Touch your penis?"  
   
"Yeah, that. Then she starts talking dirty. Really, really dirty."  
   
"How dirty?"  
   
"Things I couldn't even visualize and I'm a string theorist. It was just the craziest filthiest stuff I have ever heard."  
   
"And you know Howard."  
   
"Howard would have blushed at the things she was saying and..."  
   
"You were ready to stand and deliver."  
   
"More or less. I was ready to get it over with, I was way past hoping this could be anything but weird and uncomfortable. I couldn't imagine how it could possibly get worse."  
   
"Dude! How did it get worse?"  
   
"She..." Leonard was searching for words again, "mounted me... This is way too personal..."  
   
"Howard tells me more graphic details about the things he does to himself."  
   
"True, sad, but true. So she's up there and things are going pretty good because she's still talking and that is mostly good... Some of it is just weird and maybe anti-Semitic, I wasn't listening that carefully but anyway, her phone rings..."  
   
"She didn't answer it?!?"  
   
"Oh, she answered it! Because it was her ex and she wanted him to hear... She wanted him to hear."  
   
"What did you do?" Raj wondered if he would be able to perform with someone listening on the phone. He could barely perform with a woman just knowing there was a woman in the room...  
   
"She's feeding me lines like we're in a play. 'Tell him this, tell him that' and she's getting mad that I'm not telling her ex..."  
   
"What did she want you to tell him? How many ways she could rip your nuts off?"  
   
"It was all vagina related banter. How good it felt, smelled, tasted... its tensile strength..."  
   
"Did you tell him?"  
   
"I can't even say half those words in front of you much less yell them at some guy I've never met who is probably ready to kick my ass. I'm just trying to block it all out. I'm imagining Wonder Woman and Xena making out and just trying to make it end but she's got a phone up to my face and she's squeezing my nipple really hard..."  
   
Raj's weak bladder couldn't take it. He had to run to the bathroom before Leonard's story reached its climax.

 

 

"I'm back, resume story."  
   
"Eventually, it ends and I'm trying to get dressed and run away and she asks me to stay."  
   
"No! Did she want a round two?"  
   
"She screamed at me for being a pig who just wanted to... oh, what was the phrase she kept using? Screw and scram! She yelled it out the window at me while I was running to my car. And while I'm trying to get my door unlocked she's yelling these obscene things and people are sticking their heads out the window and this guy walks by wearing a GI Joe lunch box as a hat and says, 'That bitch is crazy! She nearly ripped my dick off last week.' I don't know if he meant literally or figuratively but... So, I survive the whole ordeal and then Bernadette calls me to ask if I'm 'into' Joy..."  
   
Raj's stomach clenches at Bernadette's name. Leonard seems to notice something in Raj's face but let's it go.  
   
"And when I say, I don't think Joy is my type, she tells me how Joy was telling her that morning she thought we were soul mates but she thought Joy may have already been drunk..."  
   
"When did Bernadette talk to Joy?"  
   
"Bernadette said she called her on her way to work."  
   
"That's like eight in the morning."  
   
"Yeah."  
   
"Sooo, are you going to see her again?"  
   
"God, I hope I'm never that desperate again. If I ever mention her again, squeeze my nipple and say you're going to fuck me so hard I'll be paralyzed."  
   
"She didn't say that."  
   
"She went into great detail. She mentioned a colostomy bag."  
   
Raj had to pee again. There were worse things than being alone.  
   
   
   
"We should go to a club. We should go out and meet some nice girls and get laid," suggested Raj.  
   
"Yeah, that is what we should do because we are _so_ good at picking up women."  
   
"C'mon, Leonard! We will acquire skill through repetition."  
   
"I've already mastered getting rejected."  
   
"I haven't had sex is so long, you're starting to look good."  
   
It was obviously a joke but there was a look on Leonard's face that suddenly filled Raj with rage.  
   
"Howard told you!"  
   
"Told me what? I don't know what... Yeah. He told me a while time ago."  
   
"What a colossal douche! He promised he wouldn't say a word to anyone!"  
   
"It was just me and it's not like he was just yapping about..."  
   
"Did he tell you it was all his idea? It was always his idea!"  
   
"He did. He wasn't trying to be an ass..."  
   
"I should have never trusted him."  
   
"I was having a rough time about something and he thought telling me would help..."  
   
"You had a bad date and he thought it would help to hear he talked me into bed?"  
   
"Sort of. It wasn't a bad date. It's a bad... a strange situation."  
   
"Penny?"  
   
"Sheldon."  
   
"Sheldon telling you when to use the potty is not a reason to tell you something that personal," Raj was feeling angry and betrayed and...  
   
Leonard was pulling himself into his jacket like a turtle. Sheldon? No way. Impossible. Maybe not impossible but really fucking unlikely.  
   
"You're not saying that you and Sheldon..."  
   
Leonard's lack of an answer was all the answer he needed.  
   
   
   
Leonard has been hesitant to tell his Joy sex story. It was like pulling teeth to get him to tell his Sheldon story.  
   
"Well, the first time..."  
   
"There were multiple times!"  
   
Leonard glared. Raj apologized. Misery loves company and if Sheldon were involved, there was sure to be misery in the following story.  
   
"It wasn't long after I moved in..."  
   
Raj bit his tongue. This had been going on for seven years?  
   
"I was taking a shower and knocked my glasses off the ledge and couldn't find them so I called for Sheldon."  
   
Raj tried to imagine a Leonard that didn't know what a terrible idea it was to "call for Sheldon" through a bathroom door. Current Leonard would know to just crawl through the apartment blind until he found his roommate.  
   
"He was acting really strange, and you remember how strange he was back then!- but he was acting strange even for him and he kept asking what I was doing. Like he thought I was up to something and I'm just blind and wet in a towel with this strange man and... And he started kissing me."  
   
Raj couldn't imagine it but then suddenly he could. Then he couldn't stop imagining much younger and even more awkward Sheldon kissing a much younger, naked Leonard...  
   
"And he just kind of put his hand under my towel and... when I offered to reciprocate he snapped at me about distracting him from his work and gave me my glasses. When I tried to talk to him about it later, he was a wall of silence. He just added a rule to the roommate agreement that I had to wear a robe."  
   
Raj could see Sheldon's long fingers sliding inside the towel, the way Leonard must have panted and clung to the taller man. Sheldon's not quite impassive face...  
   
"That was it for the next two years until I got my wisdom teeth out."  
   
"I remember that! Oh, man, if they had youtube back then, you would have been an Internet sensation! You were soooo loopy!"  
   
Leonard gave a tight smile. "I guess I was pretty out of it and after you and Howard dropped me off, Sheldon helped me eat some mashed potatoes because I still couldn't feel my mouth..."  
   
"This sounds like a really dirty set up..."  
   
"No! I think I might have been flirting with him and he kissed me and... he got me off but that was it and we couldn't talk about it."  
   
Sometimes Howard would get Raj off first if he wanted to fuck him but generally, Howard took care of Howard first. Selfish bastard... Not really. He always made sure Raj was satisfied. He worried about 'being good' for Raj.  
   
"Then when Penny left me..."  
   
Leonard always described the break-up as mutual.  
   
"I was pretty upset..."  
   
Understatement of the year.  
   
"I was drinking a lot at night..."  
   
Raj and Howard and spent many an evening sitting in this living room pretending not to know Leonard wanted them to leave and, like Sheldon, incapable of addressing the situation directly.  
   
"And one night he said he was concerned about me and I kissed him and we... went further than before..."  
   
"Did you guys...?"  
   
"Yeah."  
   
"I mean did you...?"  
   
"Yes we dot dot dotted." Leonard was looking irritated but Raj felt like he needed to be sure.  
   
"And dot dot dot stands for..."  
   
"Yes."  
   
"Anal sex."  
   
"The reason euphemisms exist is so we don't have to spell everything out!"  
   
"I'm still adapting to the American idiom."  
   
"I'm pretty sure it was his first time with anyone and he was inside me for about a second before it was over but..."  
   
"I know." He did know. He knew that feeling of being so vulnerable and exposed. It was amazing and horrible.  
   
"I stopped drinking, started playing the cello instead and that was it until the conference..."  
   
"You guys did not hook up before Penny crashed your room!"  
   
"No. When we got home, I was pretty upset about Penny leaving with the jolly handsome giant and I was killing a bottle of wine and it happened again. Only this time it happened twice and I thought... maybe it could just be a thing we could do."  
   
"Sheldon wasn't on board?"  
   
"He snapped at me for thinking with my penis and for being a bad influence on him. I'd just been rejected by Penny, then I thought maybe there was something with Elizabeth and it turned out she had something with every guy with an IQ over 130 and then your sister kind of crushed me and then Penny rejected me again and then Sheldon rejecting me... I was in a bad place and Howard told me he'd been begging sex off of you for a year."  
   
Raj wondered if that's something Howard just said to make Leonard feel better or if that's really how it had felt to him. Certainly, Raj had always remained hesitant about their encounters. Not out of a lack of physical desire. Never a lack of physical desire. Raj was and always had been a coward. He stroked Leonard's curly hair. He'd taken a shower and his hair was a mess of soft ungelled curls. Like a poodle. He tangled his fingers in the thick hair; he was getting hard.  
   
"Do you have... feelings for Sheldon?"  
   
"Why the hell would I have lived with him for seven years if I weren't in... didn't have feelings?"  
   
"I think I'm in love with Howard. I hate Bernadette for being so cute and smart and... why can't she just be bitchy and ugly?"  
   
Leonard chuckled. "At least you're losing out to a person! When Sheldon had to chose between me and no one, he went with no one."

  
   
Raj had never once in his life initiated sex. He had come across a few sexually aggressive women and one horny Howard and had always been a passenger when it came to intercourse.  
   
He kept his hand wrapped in Leonard's hair and pulled the smaller man into a kiss. It was the boldest thing he had ever done sober.  
   
Leonard was a good kisser. He knew that all ready, he'd read Leslie's blog, but it was something else to experience it directly. He'd learned a lot about Howard and Leonard from Leslie's blog but many of the skill sets didn't necessarily transfer when having sex with a man.  
   
Leonard had gotten a 9 out of 10 for oral sex. Howard had only gotten a 7 but he was certainly a 10 in Raj's books.  
   
He opened his mouth at the feel of Leonard's tongue flickering against his lips. Soon he was being lowered onto his back as Leonard explored his mouth thoroughly. He continued to stroke Leonard's hair with one hand rubbing the small of his back. He was glad Leonard seemed to be taking over because the hair pull kiss was probably the extent of his moves. He couldn't believe he'd pulled someone in for a kiss by the hair. How badass.  
   
Leonard was moving his hips in a slow and steady grind. Raj felt like he was seconds away from humping his friend's leg like a dog and decided to make another bold move. He took one of Leonard's hands and moved it between their bodies. The moment the hand touched the erection tenting his khakis, he clutched it to hold it still before he ruined the moment and the pants. There was something so easy and relaxed about the way they moved together. No performance anxiety, no fears about ruining a friendship or being mocked. This was friends with benefits. Even Leonard wasn't ruining the moment by talking things into the ground...  
   
"Raj?"  
   
Dammit.  
   
"I'm not sure what exactly you want to do here..."  
   
"I want to keep doing this." He squeezed the hand cupping his genitals.  
   
"Then we should probably relocate to the bedroom. I have no idea when Sheldon will be home."  
   
Raj had to laugh but held Leonard's hand in place, "He didn't give you an itinerary?"  
   
"Oh, he gave me an itinerary, the hard copy is on the fridge but you never know when he and Amy will have a falling out or be ejected from a public place for excessive know-it-allness..."  
   
"Let's go to your room." Raj tried to sound sexy but he thought it sounded a little desperate. Leonard gave him a deep kiss and a few more strokes through his pants before leading him to the bedroom.

  
In the bedroom, the awkwardness settled in.  
   
"You don't have a lock on your door?"  
   
"Sheldon keeps taking them off, he says it's a fire hazard."  
   
"Does he have a lock on his door?"  
   
"Of course he has a lock on his door. Locks."  
   
"Have you ever noticed a certain 'Sleeping with the Enemy' quality to your relationship with Sheldon?"  
   
"I've never seen that movie."  
   
"You should. When Sheldon finally snaps, you're going to need to shoot him like four or five times to take him down."  
   
"That's helpful to know, Raj."  
   
"And Julia Roberts just lights up the screen with her smile and that infectious laugh."  
   
"I think we're drifting off topic here."  
   
"Should we put a tie on the door?"  
   
"Last time I tried that, Sheldon called me to let me know he saw the tie."  
   
"Better than him just walking in."  
   
Leonard shrugged and grabbed a tie.  
   
"No, the reversible one. Put the side with the stars facing out."  
   
"Why?"  
   
"Because I'm an astrophysicist, dude!"

  
Leonard flopped on the bed and beckoned for Raj to join him. Raj opted to take off his sweater vest first. He'd learned the hard way sweater vests are not that easy to remove in a fit of passion. Leonard smiled and pulled off his jacket and hooded sweatshirt. Raj felt oddly aroused by his friend's naked arms. It was the same feeling he got seeing Howard's neck.  
   
"Raj?"  
   
"Hmm?"  
   
"You seemed to kind of zone out there."  
   
"I'm not usually attracted to guys."  
   
"I know that."  
   
"But I always thought you were kind of hot."  
   
He was rewarded with a loopy smile, "You looked kind of amazing in your singlet when you wrestled Howard."  
   
"Pilates, my abs look like sections of a Hershey bar."  
   
"I've noticed."  
   
"How would you like to break off a piece?"  
   
"Smooth lines like that and you still don't have a girlfriend."  
   
"Maybe if you play your cards right..."  
   
"No more talking, Raj."  
   
"Agreed. I can think of a better use for your mouth."  
   
"Enough!" Leonard's tone was firm but he was smiling. And blushing.

  
   
Leonard was unbuttoning Raj's shirt as he kissed his way from chest to stomach. Raj was tempted to just grab Leonard by the curls again and... Yeah, he wasn't going to do that. That was probably less badass than douchebag but he was hoping Leonard was planning to continue his downward journey.  
   
Leonard was pulling at the waist of his khakis. Holy cow.  
   
Raj did tangle his hand in Leonard's hair but he didn't try to push or guide him, he just enjoyed the texture as his pants were unzipped and his boxer shorts were shoved down. When a hand wrapped around his member, he worried he might not last long enough to see Leonard put his mouth to "better use". Luckily, his partner wasted no time. The warm wet pressure on the top of his penis was the most amazing thing he ever felt right up until he felt that same pressure moving down the length of him.  
   
"Holy cow, Leonard."  
   
Leonard chuckled around Raj and Raj almost had a stroke at the rumble it sent through him.  
   
"I swear to cow that is the most amazing thing I've ever felt."  
   
Leonard laughed again but punished Raj by removing his mouth, "I said no more talking."  
   
Raj mimed zipping his lip and Leonard returned to the task at hand. He kept one hand working the base of Raj's cock while his other hand explored his thighs and testicles. His mouth moved fast then slow, his tongue was in perpetual motion. Leonard could multitask better than any computer Raj had ever used. How many crashing computers had Raj implored to "suck my big brown dick"?  
   
That was not a helpful line of thought.

"Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are: Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard's Star, Laland 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B..."

"You skipped Wolf 359."

"You just keep your mind on the task at hand, Dr. Hofstadter."

"You're the one singing about stars..."

"I'm trying to make this last for more than thirty seconds."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"Believe me, it is."

Leonard resumed his efforts with gusto and soon Raj was seeing stars on the back of his eyelids. It was too good.

"Too good, too good."

Leonard moaned and the vibrations sent Raj over the edge. He gave Leonard just enough warning to end up with semen on his cheek and in his hair.

"I'm sorry! It kind of snuck up on me when you moaned..."

Leonard was cleaning himself off with a tissue, "It's fine. No big deal."

"I know it was wrong but, dude, that was pretty fucking hot."

Leonard gave one of his goofy chuckles, "Yeah. I feel like a porn star."  
   
 

"So... have you done that to Sheldon?" He couldn't imagine how even Sheldon could resist something so mind blowing. He and Leonard were lying on the bed facing each other, their hands engaged in a lazy kind of exploration. Raj knew how he wanted to get Leonard off but he was going to need a few minutes to recover. He kept sliding his hand over his friend's tented jeans to let him know he wasn't leaving him hanging, he was just taking his time.  
   
"No. Like I said, he never really allowed me to do anything to him."  
   
There was no way that was Leonard's first time going down on a guy. He'd been like a blow job ninja.  
   
Raj tried to think of a delicate way to ask and couldn't so he asked indelicately.  
   
Leonard shook his head, "Blow job ninja? Where do you come up with this stuff? There was a guy in high school, Jimmy Mullins..."  
   
That name was familiar.  
   
"Didn't he punch you with your own fists?"  
   
"In third grade, yeah. He beat me up a few times but in high school I was his peer tutor charged with making sure he didn't get kicked off the football team."  
   
Leonard Hofstadter blowing a high school football star. It didn't quite add up.  
   
"So you guys were, like, dating?"  
   
"Hardly. I would come to his house and try to teach him the difference between the words anaphase and anaerobic..." The two shared a geeked out laugh, "and he would throw his football and try and make me do his homework and give me noogies... Then it started getting a little weird, like he'd tackle me onto the bed and he'd be aroused and one day, he kissed me. For a few weeks we would just kind of dry hump and then it was hand jobs and blow jobs and..."  
   
"Did you guys dot dot dot?"  
   
"He dot dot dotted my brains out through our senior year. I did all his work and helped him cheat on every test so we didn't have to waste any precious tutoring time on schoolwork."  
   
"What did he do when he got to college?"  
   
"Considering he got a 650 on his SATs... I don't think the college he played 'ball' for cared too much about grades."  
   
"650? Don't they spot you like 400 for writing your name?"  
   
Leonard laughed, "He had skills to fall back on."  
   
"Were you in love with him?"  
   
"I barely liked him. He was still kind of an asshole but... I was in high school! I got hard when there was a stiff breeze. It took me six months to get Mary Ellen to let me put my hand up her skirt in the back of the bus coming home from a chess tournament."  
   
"That is so pathetic and geeky."  
   
"Thanks for pointing that out."  
   
"I didn't get my hand under a girl's skirt until I was twenty.  And she was forty-five!. I don't even think she noticed I couldn't speak in front of her."  
   
Leonard laughed. He had moved slightly closer so his erection was pressing against Raj's stomach. Raj cupped Leonard's backside, sliding his fingers along the seam of his jeans.  
   
"Did you keep in touch after high school?"  
   
"No."  
   
"Were there any other guys other than Sheldon?"  
   
"No."  
   
"Did you ever do the dot dot dotting?"  
   
"No."  
   
"Do you want to try?"  
   
"Oh, god yes."  
   
Raj lost his breath when Leonard jumped on top of him. He couldn't even make a joke about being left breathless, because he was. Breathless that is.  
   
   
   
Leonard yanked Raj's pants and underwear off and tossed them on the floor. They kissed almost frantically as Leonard massaged the tight ring of muscle with a healthy dose of lubricant. Raj had done this a few times with Howard but somehow doing it with another man felt naughty. He wondered if a man could be slutty.  
   
"Something funny?" Leonard asked between heated kisses.  
   
"I'm just hoping you still respect me in the morning."  
   
"I'll let you wear my letterman jacket."  
   
Raj chuckled as Leonard slid one finger in.  
   
"Like...like you have a letterman jacket. Chess king."  
   
"I do," Leonard worked the finger in and out, "I was the head statistician for the track and field team."  
   
"Oh my god, dude," he gasped as a second finger joined the first, "You are such a colossal nerd."  
   
By the third finger, Raj couldn't speak any more, just make vague whimpering noises that sounded like "good" and "yes". He was hard again.  
   
"Are you ready?"  
   
"Agham."  
   
"I heard yes."  
   
Leonard unbuttoned his jeans and pulled himself free.  
   
"Leonard, you have to take your clothes off."  
   
"Why?"  
   
"Because I'm totally naked and exposed to the cold night air..."  
   
"It is 72 degrees in here and you still have your shirt and socks on." Leonard put on his condom and began applying more lubricant.  
   
Raj pulled off his unbuttoned shirt and his socks.  
   
Leonard smiled lasciviously, "Even better," and he pushed the fully naked Raj down on the bed and climbed on top, still fully clothed.  
   
"Do you think there's a porn site for fully clothed white guys doing naked Indian guys?"  
   
"If there isn't, I know what my next project is going to be. Sheldon better get out his theramin..."  
   
Raj gripped Leonard's hips in a vice grip as he began his penetration. He was usually fairly tense when he did this with Howard (performance anxiety) but at the moment he was totally relaxed. The penetration was easy and smooth and simply mind blowing.  
   
"Raj..."  
   
"Yeah..."  
   
""Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are..."  
   
Both men laughed and Leonard began to thrust. Raj grabbed onto Leonard's ass as he thrust back as hard as he could from his prone position.  
   
"Can we?"  
   
"Kay."  
   
Raj swore under his breath when Leonard pulled free and helped position him on his hands and knees.  
   
The second entry was even smoother than the first and soon Raj was meeting each thrust fully. Leonard tried to control the pace, tried to be smooth and steady but Raj could be demanding and this was one of those times. He considered various things he could say that would encourage Leonard to be a little rougher but he rejected each idea as being a little too obscene. Five minutes later, however, when Leonard slightly adjusted his angle and started to really hit Raj's prostate...  
   
"Fuck me harder, that's it. Oh fuck me..."  
   
"Raj..."  
   
"So gah..."  
   
"Oh fah... oh god."  
   
Leonard began to stroke Raj in time to his rhythm. He must be getting close. Raj was getting close.  
   
"I'm almost there..."  
   
"You're... killing me... Raj..."  
   
"Damn right... I am."  
   
Leonard kept thrusting roughly as Raj finally growled and came in his friend's hand. He felt boneless and it was all he could do to stay on his hands and knees until he felt Leonard jerk inside him and make an adorable whimpering noise. The things you don't know about a person after nearly seven years. Leonard blew football stars and made cute orgasm noises. Go figure.  
   
Leonard carefully withdrew and tossed the condom in the trash before collapsing on the bed.  
   
"Be careful. I kind of left a big puddle of semen on your bed."  
   
"My face, my hair, my bed. You're worse than a puppy. I should have put down newspaper."  
   
"When I can move again, I'll help you change the sheets."  
   
"Change them? You'll help me wash them. I don't want Sheldon thinking I'm have wet dreams..."  
   
"Tell him you were banging some slutty Indian..."  
   
"Without a condom? I don't want him to show me his STD presentation again..."  
   
"You know, the pictures are gross but some of the scenarios..."  
   
"I have engaged in 'self-exploration' imagining the 'Wanton Wanda' scenario."  
   
"Is that the girl you meet in a honky tonk?"  
   
"No, that's Virtueless Veronica. Wanda is the older woman."  
   
"It's kind of sweet, in a really messed up way, that Sheldon worries about us."  
   
"That's Sheldon, kind of sweet and really messed up."  
   
"Howard left in the middle of the presentation to jerk off in the bathroom."  
   
   
   
Leonard zipped his pants and gathered his sheets while Raj got dressed. They had an hour before Sheldon was due home. Leonard nearly dropped his sheets when he walked into the living room and found Sheldon and Howard waiting for them.  
   
Raj walked straight into his back, "Walk much?" Then he saw.  
   
Sheldon's eye was twitching like Leonard had turned the thermostat up a degree. Howard looked pale and wounded. Like they had any right to have any reaction at all. Like they hadn't set the evening in motion with their decisions. Raj tried to be annoyed. Instead, he found himself wanting to kiss Howard and reassure him... Reassure him of what? That Raj would always be there when there was nothing better to do?  
   
"Why are you here?" Leonard asked in an accusing tone.  
   
"I'm here because I live here and when Howard called and asked if I'd seen Raj, I informed him he was currently in your bedroom engaging in coitus."  
   
"Yeah, he held the phone up to the door so I could hear." Howard was probably going for a light tone but he sounded devastated.  
   
Leonard looked at Sheldon for a moment and then shrugged, "I need to do my laundry."  
   
"We should go," Raj said to Howard, "maybe we should talk."

  
Howard swore he would end things with Bernadette as Raj went down on him. He would end things tomorrow. Raj knew he wouldn't go through with it but he liked hearing it anyway.  
   
Leonard and Sheldon yelled until Penny came over and yelled at them both. Then they had angry sex on the couch. In the middle of the night, Leonard tip toed from his room and changed the thermostat setting. In the morning, the temperature was back to 72 degrees but Sheldon was silent on the matter. It seemed like progress.


End file.
